#1 Citizen Kane

Alright! Here we go! The #1 movie of all time. I was able to finish all of this on time and on schedule - what better way to end the three weeks off between jobs than with the BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!?!?!?!
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Well.

That movie happened.

Was it bad? No. Was it the best ever? No. Was it good? Meh....not really.

I'll give Orson Welles credit for freaking out the entire world with his radio depiction of aliens invading earth - which has absolutely nothing to do with this film, I just think it's hilarious. But, this movie - while pretty groundbreaking film production wise just had nothing for me.

Rosebud. It's a stupid sled.

There, I said it. Rosebud is a sled.

I honestly don't have much else to say about this - but what are film critics smoking when they make these lists overall? I don't even think Citizen Kane would be in my top 50 of all time. How could it be ahead of movies like The Godfather I & II, Gone With the Wind...hell, even Star Wars????

Well, there you have it. My blog countdown is done. The next few posts will be about my own rankings compared to this list, which actors appeared the most, Directors, etc.

It's been fun. This list really sucked though. Keep an eye out for my own list coming soon. It will be far more entertaining.

#2 The Godfather

I don't know how many people in the world haven't seen The Godfather....but whoever they are, they're no friends of mine...at least not right now...I'm a nice guy - we can still be friends...I'm sorry.

Man, I really don't know what's better - I or II...they're both phenomenal. You get more sinister stuff out of Pacino in the second one, but the first has just so much going on and some absolutely phenomenal performances.

It's really just about the transition between Marlon Brando as The Godfather to Pacino (his son Michael) becoming the Godfather. Obviously a lot of crazy shit happens in between those two things and some people definitely die.

Let's examine the various ways shall we:

- You've got a few strangulations via piano wire (RIP Luca Brasi,RIP Carlo)
- Gun shots to throat, then head (RIP Cpt McCluskey, RIP Sollozo)
- Gun shot to back of head (RIP Paulie...who rat bastard)
- Car bombs (RIP Appolonia)
- Tommy gun DUMMYING (RIP Santino)
- Decapitation (RIP Horse)
- Shot in the eye with your glasses on while getting a massage (RIP Moe)
- Old age (RIP Don Corleone)
- Shotgun to chest, handgun through blocked revolving door, pistol on stairs, shot while banging (RIP 5 Family Heads)
- Mysteriously off screen (RIP Tessio)

So there you have it, variety is the spice of life.

Funny enough, Brando won another Oscar here but this is the one where he didn't go and had a Native American go in his place, in full head dress to protest the treatment/depiction of Native American's in film.

Also, Pacino was PISSED that he was nominated for Best Supporting Actor while Brando won for Best Actor. I mean, that literally makes no sense. Al Pacino is the star of this film and has the most camera time.

Oh well, at least James Caan also was nominated. What a pimp that guy was, although that female acquaintance at the beginning that he's hanging out with...for lack of a better phrase....has seen better days. C'mon Santino, you're a Corleone...have some goddamn self respect.

Robert Duval makes another appearance on this top 10 - he's getting towards the top of the list of appearances. Very quietly too I might add.

I can't think of many more adjectives to describe this movie, but Francis Ford Coppola really knows how to deliver on this list.

Go buy the trilogy, you don't want to end up sleeping with the fishes.

#3 Casablanca

Spoiler alert: This was always my favorite movie of all time. Ever since I saw this movie back in University for some reason it just stayed with me. I always used to tell people after they'd laugh when I'd tell them it's my favorite - that this movie was the movie that created all of those 'movie cliches', which means that it itself is not cliched.

It has everything. It's a great love story that doesn't end the way you think it should. War time drama, funny at times, great characters. And overall amazing performances by Humphrey Bogart, Claude Rains and Ingrid Bergman (Paul Henreid doesn't have as much screen time to make it worth talking about).

Sadly, Bogey didn't win the Oscar for what I think is his best performance, all suave and debonair and shit. Instead he had to wait and win it for The African Queen - playing a bum.

The movie centers around an inadvertent rebirth of a love affair when Ilsa (Bergman) and Henreid (married), end up in Casablanca looking for safe passage to America. This being during the war and most of France being occupied by the Nazi's, and Henreid's character being wanted around the world for anti-Nazi type stuff - it definitely leads to some interesting scenarios.

They come to Rick's bar in Casablanca and low and behold, Rick (Bogey) and Ilsa recognize each other as they had a love affair when Henreid was in a POW camp (way to be Bergman...slut).

Anyways, it's a great story with some of the best lines anyone will hear in film. If you ever wondered where they come from, it's Casablanca.

"Here's looking at you kid"
"Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship" (last line of the film btw)
"Round up the usual suspects" (used twice)
"We'll always have Paris"
"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine"

And some people think "Play it again Sam" is from this, which really is just a bastardization of when Isla tells Sam to play "As Time Goes By" (great song btw). She really says: "Play it once Sam, for old times sake. Play, As Time Goes By."  Which isn't even close. Dummies.

Anyways, Bogey is the man. That's all I have to say. The man. This movie alone got me into loving this era of the 'good guy' and it just got better after being introduced to Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable. Just go buy this movie.

#4 Raging Bull

So I've come to the realization that the Top 10 (save for Lawrence of Arabia) are decent movies...with some just shy of 'decent' and others just surpassing 'decent'.

Raging Bull, at least for me, is just past decent. Don't take that the wrong way - it's a really good movie but the problem with a Top 10 is that I'm waiting for all of these to blow me away. See, there are lots of problems with this approach, especially if you'd seen it before.

So for me, I've obviously seen Raging Bull before - I own it. But I always had approached it as a 'boxing' movie, not a wicked piece of film making.

Odds are, if I were to sit on this for a couple months and come back and watch it again I'd like it a lot more. This is a weird post because it's making it seem like I didn't like it. I did.

DeNiro is amazing, absolutely amazing. He won his second Oscar for this film and it's no surprise. Apart from that, Scorsese wanted to find relatively unknowns to play the rest of the parts. One being Joe Pesci - this is his first major film. And thus was born a wicked Gangster actor.

Scorsese also thought that this would be his last film ever, due to everyone hating it (passive aggressive much?). And it's got some funny stories behind it. Obviously DeNiro finding Joe Pesci and his wife (played by Cathy Moriarty) at a restaurant. He also brought this book about Jake LaMotta's life to Scorsese after reading it between takes while filming Godfather II. To train for the movie, DeNiro actually started boxing at LaMotta's club and found that he was a natural. He actually boxed in 3 real matches, winning 2 of them. Jake LaMotta went on to say that Robert DeNiro was in the top 20 boxers he ever trained.

Also, some quick trivia tidbit - albeit depressing, Jake LaMotta's son happened to be on SwissAir Flight 111 that crashed off of the coast of Nova Scotia. Small world eh?

You know, the more I think about this as I write - this movie was really good. Artistic, dramatic, beautifully shot, great acting and boxing sequences...and the birth (at least in my mind) of the Scorsese/DeNiro/Pesci Gangster trifecta...which is really the true benefit of this film.

#5 Singin' In the Rain

Ok, we all know the song. I'm pretty sure most of us know the scene too - Gene Kelly, dancing around like a complete dummy getting drenched (and probably dying of pneumonia shortly after), jumping around lamp posts, etc.

In all seriousness though, this was a pretty funny movie. I wasn't anticipating that whatsoever, and some of it was pretty slap schticky (like Don O'Connor's whole Make Them Laugh bit), but overall I did have some good laugh out loud moments.

The concept is also pretty rich. Two movie superstars from the Silent Film era struggle to adapt to "Talkies"...which is where the industry is going obviously. But hey, Gene Kelly is the consummate pro and can sing, act and dance so he'll be fine. But his bitchy costar has a voice that's worse than a dying bleating deaf cat. So obviously she's not going to be a big star once everyone hears her speak for real this time.

Like most of these older films, calamity ensues. People fall in love, there's some cheeky humor and there you go - movie is over. Everybody wins....except the deaf cat. Everyone laughs at her at the end. Like, an entire theatre of people. Classic. Stupid deaf cat.

Long story short - if you've never seen this movie before, it's not quite what you'd expect. I definitely wasn't expecting it. Gene Kelly is great, Don O'Connor might even be better. It's a comedy, it's a musical and Singin in the Rain literally has nothing to do with the rest of the movie.

#6 Gone With The Wind

THE epic movie. 2 minutes shy of 4 hours.

I have to admit that I never really appreciated this movie. I'm sure somewhere along the line my mother must've forced me to watch it at some point, and at the very least I've seen the majority of it throughout the years.

Watching it front to back though now really puts me in awe of this film.

Number one, Clark Gable is the man. He's definitely one of those guys that you just want to have a few beers with...him and his sweet mustache.

Vivien Leigh is remarkable playing one of the most iconic characters in film - Scarlet O'Hara. Who, by the way, is a gold digging bitch who only cares about money and herself. That's literally the entire premise of this movie - how does Scarlet O'Hara get back to the top of the money heap. And she loves her sisters husband, I forgot to mention that. She goes through two husbands, both die. She gets depressed, mainly because she has no money. Anyways, it pretty much goes like that for 4 hours.

Scale wise, this is epic and truly phenomenal in scope. It won 10 Oscars, pretty much everything except for Clark Gable - which is lame.

Hattie McDaniel won an Oscar - the first African American to do so, playing Mammy. Apparently her and Clark Gable were good buds too, and Clark Gable refused to go to the opening of the show in Atlanta because she wasn't allowed to go. What a good dude that guy.

And you can't talk about Gone With The Wind without mentioning Clark's final line: Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Which is great because he's pretty much just tired of Scarlet's shit. And that's completely understandable because she's a self righteous, pretentious, selfish brat. Her daughter dies, meh...she just wants money and her brother in law. Her sister dies. Same thing. She throws herself down a staircase to murder her unborn child with Rhett Butler. Rinse, lather, repeat.

Yeah. They just need to make a movie about Rhett Butler. More people have to name their kids Rhett.

I'm going to buy this one though that's for sure. Great movie overall, a definitely no doubter for Top 10.

#7 Lawrence of Arabia

So.





This movie suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked.


Sorry.

It's an epic, that's for sure. 3 hours 36 minutes....of sand. Of creepy Peter O'Toole. Of a black faced Alec Guinness. Did I mention creepy Peter O'Toole? I don't know how I'd feel if someone other than Peter O'Toole played the role of T.E. Lawrence, but he's just....different. I felt like I was watching a Hipster Arabian Prince. Every phrase out of his mouth, no matter how menial and banal sounded philosophical.

Honestly.

I just don't understand the appeal of this movie. The cinematography is impressive, no doubt. Some of the action sequences are great too, for the time. But Peter O'Toole, while good I guess is just laaaaaaaaaaame. And knowing Peter O'Toole, I'm going to chalk this up to just a terrible character. T.E. Lawrence just sounds like a pretentious air head. Maybe this role would've been better with Ashton Kutcher playing the lead.

I don't know what else to say. This movie is probably in my bottom 10 and it feels so strange. Maybe I watched it at the wrong time of the day, maybe in a weird mood, I don't know. But I just can't see myself watching this again, and even if I did I can't see myself grading this movie higher.

Some loser Brit soldier in WW 1 goes to the Arabian desert to 'help' with the Arabian uprising/war effort. Can they become a democratic society? Who knows! It really is a bit timely in the 21st century, but I still think you could have made this movie 2 hours. And a lot less shitty.

3.5 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHOOT ME!!!! This is an artists recreation of me (on the right...slightly tanned) trying to decipher/watch this flick. Da fuk?!?!