8 days...20 movies later

Let the depravity sink in...

This coming week is going to be difficult as I'm in Toronto for half of the week, and not to mention the fact that March Madness begins on Thursday. So yeah...I'm going to have to focus a lot harder.

But for all of you eager to see my rankings of AFI's 40-31 movies of all time, here ya go!

#10 - Annie Hall (#35 on AFI's List)

Ugh...bathe in the neuroticism

#9 - Dr. Strangelove: Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb (#39 on AFI's List)

Big leap forward from Annie Hall - too bad Woody Allen wasn't riding that bomb

#8 - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (AFI #34)

Being a Dwarf would suck, but they're rich...it's kind of like Hollywood

#7 - The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (#38 on AFI List)

Great line. Crazy Mexicans.

#6 - The Sound of Music (#40 on AFI List)

Michael Fassbender, nee Christopher Plummer is the man. Go Canada!

#5 - The Bridge on the River Kwai (AFI #36)

#yablewit Obi Wan.

#4 - The Maltese Falcon (AFI #31)

Bogey, you keep being you buddy.

#3 - One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest (AFI #33)

Danny DeVito, Christopher Lloyd, Jack Nicholson...what more do you need?

#2 - The Best Years of Our Lives (AFI #37)

One of the best, hooks or no hooks

#1 - The Godfather II (AFI #32)

Fredo you idiot

So there it is. Without a doubt, the Godfather II takes the cake - fantastic. Well, it's on to Apocalypse Now...I have a feeling this one will be near the top. Great movie, pumped to watch it again!

As always, feel free to leave any comments - positive or otherwise. Just know that if it's not positive, there's a chance I'll probably eviscerate you :)

St. Patty's Day update - #32 The Godfather II & #31 The Maltese Falcon

This is a great run of flicks. To make sure I wasn't stuck in front of the tv all morning on St. Patty's Day and to get to my green beer quicker, I watched the Godfather Part 2 yesterday.

To make it simple, if you've never seen any of the Godfather films (well, really just the first two...but watch them all for continuities sake), you need to. Like right now. Go. Watch them.

The Godfather II is the first sequel to ever win an Oscar and most argue that it's better than the first. It's different that's for sure but it really is a masterpiece. It's going to be tough to beat this one.

Al Pacino is phenomenal in this - calm, cool, collected. Rarely has any outbursts but when he does you better not be in the room. He's so calculated but at the same time seems so serene and a dude you'd want to be friends with. Just don't try to kill him.

Robert Duvall, as always an amazing addition to the Corleone family. And the standard Coppola family inclusions (Talia Shire, etc) are great. I also have to mention John Cazale - who plays Fredo. John passed away early in life after a battle with cancer. Not only was he dating Meryl Streep when he died, he had only ever appeared in 5 movies (over 6 years). ALL OF THEM WERE NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE.

The film splits between normal time and flashback to Vito Corleone and how he came to be. This is where DeNiro won his only Oscar. Doesn't say much, but he definitely commands the room - some great knife work too.

The Godfather II is a brilliant masterpiece and I could watch it again and again. I'm eager to get to the original Godfather to see how it compares now that it's fresh in my mind.

The Maltese Falcon is another great movie and like I said earlier when I wrote about the Treasure of the Sierra Madre, I prefer my Bogey to me suave. This helped - as he's a pretty pimped out Detective tracking down not only the treasure that everyone else is looking for (the Maltese Falcon), but the truth behind the murder of his partner, and others....while macking this woman the whole time.

It's a pretty intricate plot for the time and it's crisp back and forth pace helps, as I could see a lot of people losing interest with so many moving pieces. There are a few carry overs from Casablanca in this actor wise but I would rank it right behind Casablanca as one of Bogey's best.

If you like detective type movies and want to see one of the films that started the whole genre, then the Maltese Falcon is a definite must. It started a lot of the Detective/cop show cliches.

The bad guys are pretty dumb though, I'll give them that. Makes catching them pretty easy.

Just look at this guy - so effortless to be the coolest guy in the room

#35 (Annie Hall), #34 (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) & #33 (One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest)

#35 - Annie Hall, wow. Where do I begin? Well, here's as good a place to start as any I guess....I hate Woody Allen.

I simply cannot stand his neurotic, self deprecating humor. I have no clue why others do but hey, to each their own. Are some jokes funny? Yeah sure. But apart from his humor, the absolute last thing ON EARTH that I want to have enter my brain, is Woody Allen's sex life. How many movies can this man make that center around his need for attention and sex starvation? I simply do not get it. Quick witted dialogue, ok sometimes. It's unique intersection of self awareness in the movie as well as cameo's by Frodo....or Paul Simon, can't remember who - ok, they're cute at times.

But maybe I have some preconceived notions about Woody Allen....frankly because he's kind of messed up (I'm trying to be nice). But hey, if you're into quick dialogue that makes them seem smarter than they actually are, for the mere intention of making you feel stupid or for the audience to believe they're viewing a movie 'on another level' then please continue on to this movie. He's no Aaron Sorkin, that's for sure. Oh, and he's a creep. For some reason amazing actresses like Woody Allen, and tend to bring home Oscars (no actors though...hmmm...strange). Mira Sorvino, Cate Blanchett...I just, don't, get it.

Anyways, in my opinion, I'd rather watch Intolerance...on repeat.

#34 - Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs....muuuuch better.

You'd think that an animated movie from before World War 2 wouldn't be able to surpass Annie Hall. Think again. Everyone knows this story but if you think of how groundbreaking it was, it's extremely impressive.

Honestly though, I can see how this movie would scare the shit out of little kids. Hell, it scared me a bit. A talking mask in a mirror with creepy Halloween voices? A super evil witch? A gold digging wannabe socialite? Ok, so maybe I'm taking this too far, but Snow White...a maid (not that there's anything wrong with that), just wants to fall in love with a Prince so they can move in together into a castle. Not because he's a nice guy, good father, philanthropic gentleman....no, a castle. That's it. 

Then, when she has to flee her home and live in the woods...she breaks into someone else's house. Is nice enough though to clean it, but then invites 50 forest animals in to no doubt destroy it. Deer? Chipmunks? Squirrels? Bird shit everywhere? Are you kidding me???

Meanwhile, the dwarfs mine diamonds or jewels or whatever...and all they care about is money. Although it was pretty hilarious that they allow Dopey to lock the 'vault', and he then proceeds to hang up the key IMMEDIATELY BESIDE THE VAULT. What an idiot. Anyways, they return home to find some gold digging maid sleeping in theirs beds. Somehow they let her live there, probably because they've never seen a woman. Now, she's an obvious gold digger, and these dwarfs surely must have millions of diamonds 'locked' away in their vault. Yet she only ever kisses them on their foreheads, and would rather have a good looking Prince. So now she's a gold digging wannabe socialite with discriminating tendencies. Un. Real.

Along the way, she lets a creepy old lady into the house. Bites an apple, dies/sleeps...the witch dies. Prince comes and kisses her to wake her up. They live happily ever after. The dwarfs meanwhile go back to their seclusion, building their fortune...waiting....planning....until their day comes.

#34 - One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest
I'm obviously an idiot because I never anticipated this to be about crazy people. What a dummy.

Some amazing performances in this film, I really enjoyed it. Jack Nicholson is great, Nurse Ratched is also great. Christopher Lloyd, Danny DeVito...great crazy people. For the first 3/4 of the film I was just enjoying the performances as not much else was happening. The last twenty minutes though is fantastic. So great, a bit of a twist at the end - just fantastic.

I can't say too much else about this movie, but I personally think it should be even higher on this list. This is a movie that is built around the actors/actresses - and they're the ones that drive the story. Do yourself a favor, watch this film.

Also, the basketball scene at the beginning reminds me of the 2004/2005 Raptors. Or the 1999 SMCS Spartans. Equally as embarrassing.

#38 (The Treasure of the Sierra Made), #37 (The Best Years of Our Lives) & #36 (The Bridge on the River Kwai)

#38 - The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

Here comes the classic adventure movie. And it stars my favorite actor of all time - Humphrey Bogart. He's the man. But, despite his amazing stage presence, his easy to produce vintage Bogey pissy attitude, this isn't one of my favorites.

It's a good movie overall, has some great scenes and is simple in its premise....but I prefer the suave Humphrey Bogart that's all tuxedo'd up (see: Casablanca mainly) as opposed to the grimy, dirty, salt of the earth type guy. And that's pretty much how you can divide all of his characters, right down the middle.

Back to the movie though. It's essentially about gold diggers in Mexico. You've got your bandits, your federales, your paranoia, your gun fights. And everything sorta works out in the end. Bogart gets really paranoid off and on throughout the movie which is fun to see but the best scene has got to be their standoff with the Bandits. This is where we get the famous line: "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!" and was not delivered by Cheech Marin unfortunately. And its not originally from Blazing Saddles, in case you thought that.

Anyways, if you're looking at wading your way into Bogey's library - you could definitely start in worse places. A good Sunday afternoon adventure flick for sure.

Here's the badges guy in all of his glory:

#37 - The Best Years of Our Lives

As soon as it got to the guy with the hooks for hands I realized I must've seen some of this back in the day on a boring, rainy Saturday on tv...odds are on The New VR or something. Either way, I didn't watch the whole thing - I just remember hooky (my name for him).

Right after this movie, actually during it, I went online and bought it on bluray. That says a lot for a movie from the 50's. But it really is amazing. The first full drama that I've watched on the list and based on the time it came out it really was incredible, and even still relevant to this day. 

It's really simple. Three guys (Army, Air Force, Navy) meet up on their way home from the war and end up becoming friends. The guy from the Navy had his hands blown off and has hooks (True story: he's really from the war and really had his hands blown off). The whole movie is really about them getting reintegrated into society and the troubles of adapting back into their old lives - which they know deep down they really can't. The guy from the Army becomes an alcoholic, the guy from the Air Force comes back to shitty marriage, and the guy from the Navy. Well, he's got no hands. And throughout it all, the guy with the real disability makes the most of what he's got and acclimates way better than the other two.

It truly is an incredible movie. Better than so many other movies that follow the same premise (Jarhead, Stop Loss, etc.) How do we treat these veterans when they come home? No jobs really waiting, hostility from the people that never left. Can they just carry on with their lives?

Just a fantastic movie and I highly recommend it. If not for anything than to see the guy with hooks (who won an Oscar btw) play the piano, or light a match, or eat a sundae. It's truly impressive.

#36 - The Bridge on the River Kwai

This is a good ole, run of the mill POW camp movie. Although this POW camp looks like a good time. Not like you hear from other people, no bamboo shoots up the finger nails, no beatings. Just whistling, singing and a bit of manual labour.

So this British regiment gets captured by the Japanese and goes to this POW camp. Their mission over the next few months? Build a bridge...over...the river....kwai, you got it! Anyways, most POWs would do a shitty job so as not to help the enemy. But Obi Wan Kenobi, the CO for these Brits decides to be very Britishy and wants them all to do a great job because....hey...we're British. We do great jobs (especially in surrendering to the Japanese).

While at the same time, another 'real' British regiment wants to blow the bridge up...for obvious reasons.

It all climaxes with the opening of the bridge, Obi Wan being super proud. But then realizes that the bridge is wrapped in explosives and tells the Japanese commander. Brutal. What an idiot, I thought this whole time that Obi Wan was going to be the hero....instead he's just a super dummy.

Long story short, chaos ensues and right before his death - Obi Wan realizes he screwed up royally...dies, falling on the detonator, bridge explodes and everyone is happy. Except all of the British soldiers that died because Obi Wan was a tattle tale. 

What. A. Dummy. Good movie, but embarrassing if you're British. Here's Obi Wan's surprised face when he realizes he pooched it: "What have I done?"

#40 (The Sound of Music) & #39 (Dr. Strangelove or: How I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb)

The hills are alive with The Sound of Music? No. They're alive with the sound of the Wehrmacht, the Luftwaffe and your Austrian guilt. Too soon?

The first (and only?) musical on the list. Maybe the most popular on the list too I'd imagine. What is there really to say about this movie, other than if I'm ever at a party and someone has their kids sing "So long, farewell...german german german" on their way to bed, I might auf Wiedersehen their face. These kids can carry a tune in the face of oppression, I'll tell ya that much. Good for them!

One thing can't be ignored, Julie Andrews is awesome. So far, the most talented actress on the list. And Christopher Plummer? Good ole Toronto boy. He's amazing as well, a prick for the first half, but pretty awesome the second half. He's also the oldest living person, actor or otherwise, to win an Oscar. But I just couldn't stop thinking that Michael Fassbender is practically Christopher Plummer's doppelganger. Especially Michael Fassbender circa Inglourious Basterds:

And here's a gratuitous Carrie Underwood pic just because she played Maria in the live show recently:

So I can't really say much else good or bad about this movie, except oddly enough it was the first time I had watched it all the way through. It's also my wife's favorite movie, and she's german so I'm going to pull a Switzerland here and move on.

#39 - Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Love the Bomb

Well this is certainly a change in pace, albeit a few musical numbers oddly enough wouldn't have seemed out of place in this movie.

I'll say it right away, I'm not a big fan of Stanley Kubrick save for bits and pieces of The Shining and all of Full Metal Jacket. His movies are too out there for me which I guess doesn't bode too well for 2001: A Space Odyssey (#15 on this list). Then I saw this movie, and perhaps it's because the cold war era intrigues me in general, or the solid acting of George C Scott and the banality of the whole movie...but I was actually quite entertained by this flick. 

Now, if you don't 'get' satire, or miss the whole intention of this movie then you won't enjoy it.  Some supremely entertaining comedic bits by Peter Sellers as the President talking on the phone to the Russian Prime Minster. I also think that it must've been pretty ballsy to put out there in the mid 60's...literally in the middle of this nuclear arms race. Bravo Kubrick, bravo. 

Then you went and made Eyes Wide Shut. You took 12 years to make a film after Full Metal Jacket....and you make Eyes Wide Shut.

Seriously. Eyes Wide Shut? 

 #yablewit

Intermission - Ranking the first 10 movies

So it's been 3 days and I've watched 10 movies. Good for me? Oh well...I wanted to rank them based on how much I enjoyed them, and I'll continue to do this every group of 10 and continue to rank them so eventually we'll have my own Top 50.

For the most part I enjoyed all of them with the obvious exception of Intolerance (cya later), and I wasn't too too sold on The Philadelphia Story. But that's waaaaaaaay better than Intolerance. Either way, here's my rankings with some video clips so you can make your choice as to whether you want to check it out too.


#10 Intolerance - Loves Struggle Through the Ages.  (AFI 49)

                                               
                                                Here's the entire crazy movie c/o Youtube

#9 The Philadelphia Story (AFI 44)

Once again, Jimmy Stewart is the man

#8 Midnight Cowboy (AFI 43)

 

                                       

                                                 I'm walkin' here! This was an adlib btw

#7 It Happened One Night (AFI 46)

                                       

Clark Gable probably has done better things with his thumb...

#6 Shane (AFI 45)

                                        

This kid single handedly kept this movie from my Top 5...see why

#5 A Streetcar Named Desire (AFI 47)

                                       

STELLA!! I've got an offer you can't refuse!!!

#4 Bonnie and Clyde (AFI 42)

                                       

Owned. Great scene.

#3 King Kong (AFI 41)

 

Almost as good as the real King Kong vs Godzilla movie

#2 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings (AFI 50)

                                           

Magneto...man.

#1 Rear Window (AFI 48)

                                           

Once again, Jimmy Stewart - I applaud you.

#43 (Midnight Cowboy), #42 (Bonnie and Clyde) and #41 (King Kong)

Alright, up first this morning was Midnight Cowboy. So, Jon Voight leaves some dopey Texas town where apparently he's a Casanova the likes of Tim Riggins or something like that. Figures, hey...I could get a job as an actual cowboy, or perhaps continue my seemingly lucrative dishwashing gig...or....screw it, I'm going to bang chicks for money in New York.

Extremely fair point. Let's move on.

So that's pretty much it. He goes to NYC as a gullible cowboy thinking everyone will pay him to ride his longhorn. I'm trying to see how many cowboy sex euphemisms I can get in...deal with it. So anyways, this bucking bronco ends up sleeping with a call girl himself, by accident. Letting some dude pull an Alanis Morrisette on his Dave Coulier in a theatre...only to pull the good ole "I left my wallet at home" trick. Oh that gullible Texan Cowboy, NYC owns you.

Throughout all of this he befriends a sketchy Dustin Hoffman. Blah blah blah...he finally bags some lady of the night who pays him, then Dustin Hoffman is about to die from some excessive coughing. They board a bus, go to Florida. Hoffman pisses himself, Voight laughs like only a friend can. They get to Florida, Hoffman dies and movie ends. Boom there ya have it.

The first X rated movie to win an Oscar I'll let you know. And to be fair, Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman are incredible. I can't think of any reason why I didn't like the movie, but to be fair I also couldn't think of many reasons as to why I liked the movie. It's just neither here nor there with me. Back in 1969 though, I can see how this movie would absolutely cause a ton of buzz and controversy so good for them. I prefer Jon Voight when he's a douchey football coach.

On deck today was Bonnie and Clyde. After a little pre movie research it really was evident that this 1967 flick was the first uber violent movie of its era. Which, for this JCVD/Arnold raised kid, a breath of fresh air. Nothing like some good natured bank robbing to liven things up. Throw in a couple gun shots to the head, the eye, arms...a super attractive Faye Dunaway (I suggest you don't Google image her present day though)...an amazing Warren Beatty and you've got a pretty solid movie.

Everyone pretty much knows the story, and it's standard fare. With a solid appearance from a younger Gene Hackman, who looks the same here as he does in Hoosiers, Crimson Tide, and my personal fave Welcome to Mooseport, I'd recommend this.

The final scene (minus the last 3 seconds) is unreal and even 2014 Tim was super impressed. Later Bonnie and Clyde. Although, watching this movie made me want to watch the Untouchables more...which made me angry it wasn't in the Top 50. I'd probably also take Sean Connery any day over Warren Beatty. Also, every time I looked at Warren Beatty I thought he reminded me of the lead 'singer' of Fun. Which also got me angry as that guy is a terrible singer.

Either way, Warren Beatty rapped in Bulworth. Brutal. But he also is a pimp in normal life. It's 1967 and this dude was Producing these blockbusters. Then decides to make like 3 movies ever again....because hey, I'm Warren Beatty. Suck it. Oh...he also can't get it up in this movie. I'm sure there's some symbolism there...but I don't have time to discuss.

Alright, the last film of the first ten - at #41 was King Kong. I'll be completely honest, I wasn't really looking forward to this as it's really only 17 years removed from the creation of my painful Intolerance experience. But, I do have a King Kong original poster hanging in my theatre room in my basement so I was going to do this.

Holy. Shit. 

As soon as you get over the fact that the effects don't compare to what we have now, this movie will absolutely blow your mind. For a few reasons: graphic violence, crazy effects for 1933, graphic violence, crazy 'action scenes', graphic violence, crazy effects for 1933.

That's really it. The movie goes quickly once they get to the island and I'd be happy to never hear Fay Wray scream ever again. But when no fewer than 6 people get eaten by the Loch Ness monster, Godzilla and a Pteradactyl....you know it's going to be a good movie.

Although my one complaint, and it's not really a complaint I guess...is when King Kong kills people. Apart from stomping on their faces...which he does countless times. When he picks them up from windows or boats or wherever and puts them in his mouth to 'eat' them - it's like he just is getting up from a great garlicy dinner at a restaurant and grabs one of the restaurant mints eagerly. Tossing it in his mouth for two seconds only to realize that it taste like Javex, spitting it out. That's pretty much what Kong does. But hey, they die nonetheless. 

Good for you Kong, you don't take shit from anybody. Climb whatever you want. Go have a beer if you want to. It's your life.